Do not remove from vault. Do not implement. Do not READ.
The Simple Network Management Protocol, SNMP, empowers you to invoke ancient standards from the void. SNMP exposes the secrets of your network and servers, and--if you're careless--reconfigures them into unspeakable nightmares. It exposes your inadequate brain to the vast alien dimensions underlying modern computing.
SNMP is authentic dark magic.
Abdul Alhazred's infamously rumored Networknomicon, or SNMP Mastery, has long been blamed for the Spanish Inquisition, the Second World War, and Cleveland. While nuclear "testing" was thought to have eradicated all copies of the manuscript, an astute student with a baggy shirt and considerable mob debts recently liberated one tattered survivor from the Miskatonic University Library of Computer Science.
Tilted Windmill Press is pleased to present this facsimile edition, freshly translated from Alien Syntax Notation.1 into English by dubiously acclaimed and unquestionably foolhardy author Michael W. Lucas.
The publisher is not responsible for extradimensional incursion, overloaded monitoring systems, bouts of madness, saltwater in servers, nonexistent colors, rats in the walls of crumbling ancient data centers, triangles with too many degrees, unparseable MIB files, sojourns out of Time and Space, self-medication, self-trepanation, self-destruction, Lego-induced foot trauma, or any other harm, transformation, or impact of any sort, that might be plausibly or implausibly ascribed to this tome.
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